LOVE ME TO DEATH
He bought me flowers today
He said it was just because
But we both know the cause
This has how it has always been
A pattern emerged I felt helpless to stop
Flowers and pretty words always followed
A smack or a kick or calling me bitch
I never knew what would trigger it
Sometimes his temper would blow up
He would blister my ears with profanity
And bruise my body with fists
He would shatter my ego with insults
So much so I became a shell
Timid and jumpy afraid of my shadow
I would try blend in with the furniture
Thinking maybe just maybe
If he doesn’t notice me he won’t tear me down
Thinking if I sat quietly I would not arouse his ire
Then he got mad coz I was so quiet
In trying not to anger him I had made him livid
You are not the girl I fell for he screamed
Where is the outgoing person I hit on?
The one who had all the boys chasing after her?
I looked at him wondering what was going on
How could he say this?
He who picks what I wear every morning?
He who picks where I go for lunch?
He who picks which friends I can talk to
As far as I knew I had no choice…
After all those years cowering I finally got mad
I lost my mind a little I did not care
Lost I screamed
Lost under your insecurities!
Lost under your pummelling fists
She faded little by little like the bruises you left on her
She her personality slowly ground to nothing by your insults
Walking on eggshells is not an easy thing
It takes a lot out of me I screamed
Then you still want me to wait on you hand and foot?
That doesn’t do shit for me when you are loving me with your fists
I had reached my limit
I was done
I did not need to stick around
No need to wait for the obvious conclusion
As I walked out in my righteous anger
Cradling my fractured ego in my hands
Dragging my pride behind in its tattered glory
That was when I came to the realisation
This motherfucker was gonna love me to death
About the author:
Khumoyame Gaobolelelwe is a self confessed bibliophile who prefers spending time with a book more than anything else. She loves nature and the outdoors. Khumoyame wears the hat of a writer, a poet and a lover of children and small animals.
Find her on facebook: Khumoyame Gaobolelelwe.