Poetry for GBV 5 – Love Me To Death

LOVE ME TO DEATH

 

He bought me flowers today

He said it was just because

But we both know the cause

This has how it has always been

A pattern emerged I felt helpless to stop

 

Flowers and pretty words always followed

A smack or a kick or calling me bitch

I never knew what would trigger it

Sometimes his temper would blow up

He would blister my ears with profanity

And bruise my body with fists

He would shatter my ego with insults

So much so I became a shell

Timid and jumpy afraid of my shadow

I would try blend in with the furniture

Thinking maybe just maybe

If he doesn’t notice me he won’t tear me down

Thinking if I sat quietly I would not arouse his ire

 

Then he got mad coz I was so quiet

In trying not to anger him I had made him livid

You are not the girl I fell for he screamed

Where is the outgoing person I hit on?

The one who had all the boys chasing after her?

 

I looked at him wondering what was going on

How could he say this?

He who picks what I wear every morning?

He who picks where I go for lunch?

He who picks which friends I can talk to

As far as I knew I had no choice…

After all those years cowering I finally got mad

I lost my mind a little I did not care

 

Lost I screamed

Lost under your insecurities!

Lost under your pummelling fists

She faded little by little like the bruises you left on her

She her personality slowly ground to nothing by your insults

Walking on eggshells is not an easy thing

It takes a lot out of me I screamed

Then you still want me to wait on you hand and foot?

That doesn’t do shit for me when you are loving me with your fists

 

I had reached my limit

I was done

I did not need to stick around

No need to wait for the obvious conclusion

As I walked out in my righteous anger

Cradling my fractured ego in my hands

Dragging my pride behind in its tattered glory

That was when I came to the realisation

This motherfucker was gonna love me to death

 

 

About the author:

Khumoyame Gaobolelelwe is a self confessed bibliophile who prefers spending time with a book more than anything else. She loves nature and the outdoors. Khumoyame  wears the hat of a writer, a poet and a lover of children and small animals.

Find her on facebook: Khumoyame Gaobolelelwe.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.